Ultimate Uncles vs. Nuclear Nephews: A Special 30th Anniversary Retrospective of the Famous Wiffleball Clash

The World Series. The Super Bowl. The Daytona 500.

Every major sport has its own seminal event(s).

On July 2, 1989, the Walker Wiffleball League, still in its infancy, featured its own monumental contest:

The Ultimate Uncles vs. The Nuclear Nephews.

It was an epic game that addressed challenges from both sides head-on and cemented bragging rights for decades to come. The scene was buzzing. An electric atmosphere on the grounds of what would become Hank Gathers Memorial Stadium was theretofore unheard of in wiffleball – highlighted by a live performance of our national anthem, two beer commercials, stunning video production, and shit-talking galore.

In this comprehensive, uncensored 30th Anniversary recap, we will take a close look at the game itself along with input and anecdotes directly from those who participated in the glory of that July day.

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 The History

A couple years back, we visited with Chris Walker, founder of the WWL (you can view that interview here), to talk about his highly organized 3 on 3 league that featured an authentic mini-stadium, full recordkeeping, night games, and bold player nicknames like ‘Doobie” and “Buttpick” among others.

Although the league was just getting started in 1989, many felt that it needed a special event to really commemorate and celebrate the simplistic joys of wiffleball and summertime.

And settle some scores.

Rumblings of such a game were rampant for over a year, before the gauntlet was officially thrown down and agreed upon. Details are little sketchy, but the actual deal may have been struck during a family Christmas gathering in 1988. (Whether or not the discussion about the game stemmed from a certain gag-gifted toilet plunger is debatable to this day.)

“It may have been brought about at a recent family engagement,” recalls Nuclear Nephews outfielder Shawn Trusty. “It was mutually agreed upon and the Fourth of July seemed the perfect fit.”

Teams were then chosen, and the stage was set for the game as part of the upcoming Fourth of July Weekend festivities.

Ultimate Uncles vs. Nuclear Nephews: The Game

The Ultimate Uncles consisted of a grizzly mix of veteran talent. Trickster twirler William “Rollie” Walker took the bump, flanked by fleetfooted outfielders Larry Walker and Shoeless Paul “Thor” Mackey.

The younger, piss and vinegar-filled Nuclear Nephews, never ones to miss an opportunity to make a statement, countered as an elite trio. The Trusty brothers – Brian and Shawn – along with league founder Chris Walker comprised a team chock full of speed, power, and attitude.

Ok let’s face it. They were being dicks.

A perfect summer day greeted the attendees at the David Avenue grounds. As the holiday festivities that included a cookout, swimming and beer drinking gave way to an afternoon haze, the game was set to start. Opening ceremonies commenced, as Rollie Walker thrilled the throng with a stirring, Hendrix-esque rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner. Rollin and Rose Walker each threw out ceremonial first pitches, and the teams were ready to square off – save for a preordained delay whilst the Nephews cockily dashed off to the clubhouse to don their faux-Boston Red Sox uniforms.

Umpire John Trusty and cameraman/commentator Bruce Darin, himself a legendary third baseman in his day, rounded out the gameday crew.

The ground rules were explained well ahead of time, but it didn’t take long for some tempers to flare over misunderstandings regarding the provided statutes.

Umpire Trusty wasn’t about to deal with any quibbling over the rules, though.

Prior to first pitch he loudly and proudly delivered his simple edict (which was also printed on the back of his shirt): “When the ump says you’re out, you’re fucking OUT!”

“I didn’t want any questions or bullshit. I would rather have sat around and drank beers all day but fuck it.” John Trusty said.

Starting pitcher for the Nuclear Nephews, Brian Trusty, was incensed from the jump.

“I hated the way the Uncles ignored the rules, even though we gave them copies hours before the game,” he said.

Rumors that the physical copies of the rules given to the Uncles were defiantly used as kindling for the grill went largely unsubstantiated, but it nonetheless seemed to fuel a different fire – that of the game.

As the game began, it was clear that any ignorance or breaking of the rules wouldn’t matter. The Nephews set the tone early and exploded for seven runs in the first inning. Rollie Walker struggled to get outs, as the three-pronged attack from the Nephews was just too heavy. His effort ended after four innings, surrendering 18 earned runs on 19 hits.

Facing a large 18-2 deficit, it seemed the Uncles were doomed. Defensive struggles added to their uphill battle, despite the perceived outfield prowess of the L. Walker-Mackey duo.

Like the hull in Red Beckman’s boat, there were just too many holes.

Yet somehow, the light turned on and the Ultimates began to stage a furious charge.

Either their beer was getting warm, or they started to figure Brian Trusty’s pitches out, but the Uncles roared back with four runs in the fifth and five more in the sixth. Led by Mackey’s seven home run, eleven RBI barrage, (often one-handed, with a koozie’d Bud Light occupying the other), the score was now an interesting 23-11 heading to the seventh. In WWL games, even a 12-run lead was never safe.

The Uncles had officially boarded the comeback train.

“Uncle Paul was a great softball player in his day. He had a swing that generated a lot of power. His softball abilities transferred to the wiffleball field and he hit some bombs!” Shawn Trusty recounts.

Southpaw Larry Walker, on in relief for the Uncles since the fifth, had his struggles but kept the game from getting too far out of reach for the time being. The Nephews’ bats came back to life in the bottom of the seventh however, putting a five-spot on the board to once again establish comfort with a 28-11 lead.

Trusty’s day on the hill ended after 7.2 innings, having surrendered 21 hits and 12 runs. Chris Walker took the mound for the final 1.2 innings and completely shut down the Uncles; his unique submarine delivery an utter bafflement to the weary and buzzed veteran squad.

The late surge ended, and the miraculous comeback attempt was squeezed.

When the final out was recorded, the Nuclear Nephews were the 28-13 victors.

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Original box score from the game. Credit to Chris Walker.

 

Fast-forward thirty years, and with some effort, we were able to gather an esteemed panel comprised of those who made this game happen – the players and officials.

In this special no-holds-barred, tell-all segment, sparks fly.

Buckle up.

 

Alright, let’s cut the shit. How did the idea for this game really come about?

Chris Walker: My memory is fucked but we played 27 games of wiffleball in ’88 where we kept stats, so the league was operating by then. I really don’t know who is responsible for this, but I definitely would like to thank them because the fact that we did it and have video to document it is almost as cool as feeding squirrels.

Shawn Trusty: I don’t recall. It might’ve been brought about at a recent family engagement. Christmas probably.

Rollie Walker: We were challenged.

What was the process for team selection?

Shawn: Team representation was agreed upon quickly. 3 on 3 was the standard.

Chris: My guess is my dad and Uncle Larry were automatic because of the Walker name and they needed a third. Uncle Paul was the best player available. I suppose we could’ve let them bat four or five by adding Uncle John and Uncle Bruce and we could’ve had Angela and Kevin play on our team, but that was never discussed.

Rollie: We were challenged and just picked the team. You can’t have four against three, and it was at my house, so I was going to play!

Nephews – what was your strategy going into this game?

Shawn: We knew we were the better team and it was just a matter of us playing ball. The only chance the Uncles had is if one of us got injured.

Chris: Brian took it seriously and so the rest of us followed suit.

Shawn: I was and still am a very competitive person. When I’m in the midst of an athletic competition, I compete physically and verbally.

Why the Boston Red Sox-inspired uniforms?

Shawn: We had to pick an AL team as each of us were fans of the Cubs or Cardinals and all hated the Mets. We decided on the Red Sox because of players we liked. The Cleveland Indians were also considered.

Brian Trusty: Our Red Sox jersey numbers were based on their outfield of Mike Greenwell (39: me), Ellis Burks (12: Chris) and Dwight Evans (24: Shawn).

How were the umpire and cameraman chosen?

Chris: I’d like to know that as well. Like I said, I’m hazy on this being 30 years ago and really just being a 17-year old wiseass at the time.

Shawn: The roles had to be filled and there were two logical spots for the remaining uncles who weren’t playing.

John Trusty: (Shrugs). I had to do what I had to do. So fuck it.

The gameday atmosphere was extravagant, complete with an incredible rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner and not one but two beer commercials.

Chris: My dad always had something planned. How else would he have had the guitar, wig, and attire?

Brian: Grandpa [Rollin Walker] doing the Bob Uecker Miller Lite commercial was awesome.

Bruce Darin: Anything involving Pop that day was great.

Shawn: That might’ve been the 20th anniversary homage to Hendrix at Woodstock. Guitar supplied by the umpire. Grandpa impersonating Bob Uecker’s commercial was an awesome part of the day where he did his own thing, going way out into the field.

Rollie: It’s baseball so you got to have the Star-Spangled Banner to start a game. I just thought the Jimi Hendrix recording would be what I’d play. I had a wig and a guitar, so I improvised. Just acting goofy.

Rick Zelko’s “Miller Man” ad put Budweiser’s iconic “Bud Man” to shame, with him slamming a cold High Life and simply instructing viewers to go buy it.

Shawn: I like Rick and always have, and that commercial was hilarious. He was having a good time that day.

Chris: It was legendary and spontaneous which is Rick in a nutshell. I can watch that again and again (laughs).

The Miller Man commercial in all its glory can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvFgbx9jXVI

 Uncles – how did you plan to defend against the Nephews’ powerful bats, especially with a shoeless Paul Mackey roaming the outfield? Was that a hindrance at all?

Larry Walker: I tried to cover as much ground as possible. I was probably the speediest defender.

Paul Mackey: (Shrugs) I was faster than Larry because I was shoeless.

The Nephews started the game with a blistering seven-run first frame and never looked back. Talk about that initial assault.

Chris: We dominated. Those guys are fags (laughs.)

Shawn: Hard hit balls and aggressive baserunning were the keys.

Larry: Our outfield was speedy, but I didn’t expect the Nephews to come out with so much passion. Shit, I was just drinking beer at a picnic.

The Nephews plated runs in every inning but the eighth when Mackey came on in relief. Did you call off the dogs by then or was he legitimately fooling you?

Shawn: By that point he was feeling pretty good. We weren’t trying to slam more runs on the board. I’ll give Uncle Paul credit for that scoreless inning, but had he started the game, the final score wouldn’t have been any different.

Chris: No clue. He may have been mad because I was bragging about trying to buy Red’s boat.

Shoeless Paul did some serious swatting for the Uncles, with 7 of his 9 hits being home runs – many while holding a beer. What made him so tough to get out?

Brian: I could not get Uncle Paul out no matter what I threw him (laughs).

Paul: I was a tough out with my patented one beer/one-handed swing.

Chris: He had great shoeless footwork and the power became prodigious as the liquid gold continued to flow. He was a dominant softball player in those days too.

Paul: I was putting on a show for Bob Uecker in the front row (laughs).

Chris, you ended the game in relief with 1.2 innings pitched of no-hit, shutout ball, a rare feat in the WWL.

Chris: Basically, Uncle Paul was hammered by that time and my dad and Uncle Larry were probably tired and had just kind of given up. Everyone was ready to go eat potato salad.

Cameraman/commentator Bruce Darin had some salty takes throughout the game about both teams and the umpiring. What did that add to the narrative of this epic game?

Bruce: I mean, you have to have commentary to keep things interesting.

John: He did his job and I did mine. Fuck it.

Chris: It adds more than I think anyone realizes. It baffles me when I think of how it all happened but being unable to recall why it all happened that way, know what I mean? The commentator certainly wasn’t biased. Everyone was open game to his criticisms.

Shawn: The commentary was…weak. It reeked of a guy projecting his odd humor that was dripping with irony. But it was still great (laughs).

The comparison of Darin’s cinematography and gameday production to that of the legendary Arnie Harris was high praise.

Chris: Complete and utter bullshit, but it sounded good and funny at the time though (laughs). But he completed the job and I am extremely grateful that he was able to do it.

Bruce: I learned a lot from watching Cubs games on WGN in those days.

The commentator was also a big proponent of the squeeze play, which was an interesting idea given the short basepaths. Was that even allowed per league rules? Could strategy get as granular as regular baseball?

Bruce: I learned a lot from listening to Bob Uecker, too.

Shawn: Impossible for a squeeze play when all runners had to keep their foot on the base.

Chris: It would have to be a safety squeeze since you couldn’t run until contact was made. I think Doobie tried to squeeze in Buttpick from third once, but it was disallowed.

Why the hell wasn’t there ever a rematch?

Chris: I’ve always wondered why we didn’t do it (shrugs).

Shawn: Considering the shape we are in we’d probably lose a rematch.

Author’s note: I’d play this time.

 

Well, there it is folks. One tremendous ballgame many moons ago, and for three decades some of the goofy jabs have stuck around like a fart in a space suit. You may recall that Apollo Creed once told Rocky Balboa there wasn’t going to be a rematch.

But we all know how that turned out…

 

Special thanks to all who participated, and to Chris Walker for providing the official box score, and recent special edition interview content with William “Rollie” Walker, which can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHFX4yFOBjc